Spring Break
Insecurity is bad quality leading to dysfunctional relationship
Velvet Black
Issue date: 2/20/06 Section: Opinion
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My girls and I decided before we all went back to school that we would have a girls day out. You know - lunch, Starbucks and the mall.
Well, while we were sitting down, we all began discussing our boyfriends.
The typical questions were asked: Are you happy? How long have you two been together? What are his goals? But the further our conversation progressed, the more interesting it got.
One of my good friends began saying that she gets jealous if another woman looks at her boyfriend wrong and that when he looks at another female it makes her uncomfortable.
After she started talking, the confessions of insecurity started pouring out.
Needless to say, before the lunch hour was over, I realized the four girls I had known for years all had insecurity and trust issues with their significant others.
I couldn't believe it - my heart was broken. Why were they so insecure?
All of them were successful, stable and beautiful.
I thought maybe they were just having a bad day.
I decided to further my experiment by having the same conversation, but this time with my girlfriends at school. I eased them into a conversation about insecurities.
Before I could finish my salad, these girls had begun telling their confessions of insecurities.
I began my investigation by asking them why they felt the need to be so insecure. They all replied with similar answers that lead to trust issues, confidence, heartbreak, and baggage from prior relationships.
I'm not going to say I've never been insecure. I have been insecure in past relationships and have caught myself being insecure even when I'm not in a relationship.
Every woman has some issues with insecurity, but when the issues within yourself become a burden to your relationship and to others around you, your insecurity has become a problem.
I remember coming out of my last relationship feeling so insecure and hurt.
Sometimes when people have hurt you, after the relationship is over, you carry those feelings into your present relationship and those animosities lead to insecurity.
Well, while we were sitting down, we all began discussing our boyfriends.
The typical questions were asked: Are you happy? How long have you two been together? What are his goals? But the further our conversation progressed, the more interesting it got.
One of my good friends began saying that she gets jealous if another woman looks at her boyfriend wrong and that when he looks at another female it makes her uncomfortable.
After she started talking, the confessions of insecurity started pouring out.
Needless to say, before the lunch hour was over, I realized the four girls I had known for years all had insecurity and trust issues with their significant others.
I couldn't believe it - my heart was broken. Why were they so insecure?
All of them were successful, stable and beautiful.
I thought maybe they were just having a bad day.
I decided to further my experiment by having the same conversation, but this time with my girlfriends at school. I eased them into a conversation about insecurities.
Before I could finish my salad, these girls had begun telling their confessions of insecurities.
I began my investigation by asking them why they felt the need to be so insecure. They all replied with similar answers that lead to trust issues, confidence, heartbreak, and baggage from prior relationships.
I'm not going to say I've never been insecure. I have been insecure in past relationships and have caught myself being insecure even when I'm not in a relationship.
Every woman has some issues with insecurity, but when the issues within yourself become a burden to your relationship and to others around you, your insecurity has become a problem.
I remember coming out of my last relationship feeling so insecure and hurt.
Sometimes when people have hurt you, after the relationship is over, you carry those feelings into your present relationship and those animosities lead to insecurity.